The Way

After watching The Way, I have been able to look at my life from a slightly different perspective.  Just as Tom started his journey with the sole purpose of honoring his son, I started my journey at the Mount with the sole purpose of doing well academically so I could go to a good and respectable college.  Like Tom however, I met new people, I opened up in sharing parts of my story and listening to parts of others' stories, and I made some very valuable friends that will stay with me forever.  I learned from Tom's pilgrimage, that a true pilgrimage has an individual and a group component.  Each of them are equally important.  As an individual, I have learned to find my boundaries, test them over and over again, and than create new boundaries.  I have learned to speak up during these past four year, and not be afraid to give my opinion.  As a group at the Mount, I have learned how to be proud to be a woman, how to accept and help other women, and how to refuse to be treated any differently from a man.  Tom's pilgrimage taught him to value life and to live a life that he is going to enjoy.  I am hoping that as I leave this stop (the Mount) on my pilgrimage of life and continue on to the next (Boston College), I will find the life that I enjoy living and am meant to live.

Mixed Messages

While reading Emily Reimer-Barry's interview, I noticed that she made some very valid points of the negative messages that the Church sends to women.  However, the Church does send a multitude of positive messages to women.  One of the Church's most prominent messages sent to women is to respect and honor their bodies, because our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.  This specific message has been relayed to me through grade school, high school, my church community, and my family.  The Church acknowledges the need for intimacy and intercourse to conceive children, but it also states that each partner should treat the other with dignity and one person is not completely dominant over the other.  I have been taught that women should respect their bodies extra carefully, because they are the reason that the church can continue.  Another positive message to women was allowing them to become alter servers and Eucharistic ministers.  Even though we can't be priests, we can still participate in the mass in a multitude of ways.  The Church's negative messages towards women have decreased because of the fact that they are no longer required and/or expected to be quiet and submissive.  Women are taking a stand and becoming leaders; the Church is finally accepting that.

Abortion

While reading Bryan Cones' article, I noticed that his view on abortion is very different than that of the Catholic Church.  The Catholic Church believes in natural family planning and that every time a couple has sex, they should be doing it with the purpose of conceiving a child.  However, most couples don't practice that rule.  Bryan Cones took a very realistic approach on the fact that abortion rates are rising in underdeveloped countries.  One way to reduce those rates would be to increase the availability of contraceptives to women in those countries.  I think that I agree with his view, because I think it's better that a baby is not conceived and therefore escapes the risk of being aborted.  If an unplanned pregnancy occurs, the baby will most likely be aborted and in these underdeveloped countries, the mother could die as well.  I do believe that every form of life has a right to live, but abortion is a very complex subject, and I think that the Catholic Church could probably modernize its stance a bit to coincide with the majority of its members.

IVF

After watching the Dateline special on IVF and reading the US Catholic article, I have learned that there are many pros and cons to IVF.  However, I think the pros have the tendency to outweigh the cons.  One of the most obvious pros to IVF it that it results in a baby.  IVF versus adoption appeals to many couples who are unable to conceive by themselves because they have the chance to have a baby who is biologically theirs.  Meanwhile, some of the cons include in the incredibly high cost without a 100% gaurantee of a baby and the emotional roller coaster of trying and possibly failing to get pregnant multiple times.  Another con of IVF pertains mostly Catholics.  The Catholic Church is against the practice of IVF, because it believes that it is immoral for a couple to have a baby outside of sexual intercourse.  Personally, I think that the Catholic Church should be open to IVF.  If an infertile couple is committed to each other and to having a baby, then what is so bad about getting some professional help to have that baby who will be raised as a Catholic?  The financial cost of IVF is definitely something that many couples have to consider and is probably the reason many of them cannot use IVF.  I think there should be some program designed to financially help couples who are struggling to meet the cost, because IVF offers a couple the chance to start a family, and no loving couple should be denied that opportunity.

He's Just Not That Into You

While watching the movie He's Just Not That Into You, I really enjoyed watching the relationship dynamic between Beth and Neil.  They have been deeply in love for seven and they even live together, but they are not married.  But Beth wants to get married; she wants the ring on her finger and her and Neil's signatures on the marriage certificate.  On the other hand, Neil refuses to get married.  He doesn't believe in marriage, because he thinks it is unnecessary and will add unneeded stress to an already committed and loving relationship.  I think that most women would probably identify very easily with Beth, because we want that firm reassurance that our boyfriend or husband is never going to  leave when things get tough.  However, Beth and Neil are a perfect example of a real relationship.  Their love and support for each other when they most need it shows that marriage is more than a fun party, two rings, and a certificate.  They are an example of the bond and commitment that needs to be present before the rings are bought and the certificate is signed.

Another interesting character from this movie was Gigi.  Gigi wants everything that love is supposed to be.  She is in love with the idea of love.  Gigi is trying so hard to find the signals, to leave the right message, and act the right way that she can't enjoy the little moments that might eventually lead to something bigger.  Gigi doesn't fully understand the true meaning of love, because she hasn't experienced it yet.  However, once Alex's honesty truly reaches Gigi, she learns that romance isn't everything.  She becomes a more confidant woman and focuses on just enjoying each day as it comes.  Before Gigi starts dating Alex, we see that it is completely possible to live a happy and content life as a single person.

The Changing Face of Marriage

I think that my parents have heavily incorporated the idea of the 'domestic church' into our family.  My brother and I have always been told to thank God for what for what we have been blessed with, ask him for help or guidance during stressful or overwhelming times, and to life out the Church's teachings through our ability to do the right thing.  My family goes to church every weekend whether it's on Sunday morning or Saturday night because of a sporting event or special activity.  Watching the clip of "He's Just Not That Into You," has provided me with an insight with the 'changing face of marriage."  I think I agree with Jennifer Aniston's character that marriage is an important step to complete every committed relationship.  I cohabitation is a con to the new concepts of marriage, because as I have learned in VHS and Psychology, cohabitation is not a true commitment, because nothing is forcing those two people to stay and work things out once things get tough.  My parents have had fights, but they always work things out, because they made that commitment over 25 years ago to stay together.  On the other hand, I think one of the pros to the new face of marriage is the acceptance of same-sex marriage that is slowly spreading across the country.  I think the fact that college graduates with degrees are less likely to get a divorce is something that everyone should take notice of.  Having a college degree means that an individual has some level of intelligence and should therefore know when to commit to a relationship if that person is the right person.  When I grow up and get married, I definitely want to form the concept a 'domestic church' in my household.  My parents raised me with Christian values, taught me how to be a genuine person, and what it means to have faith.  I want to do the same with my children.

Dating and 'Hooking Up'

In his book, "Love, Reason, and God's Story," David Coultier describes a class of people labeled as "anti-daters."  These people are completely opposed to dating because they believe that the temporary aspect of dating makes the people in a couple practice for divorce. I strongly disagree with this belief. I think that dating is a crucial part of life. Dating allows an individual to find what characteristics she needs/wants in her future husband and what relationship dynamic is most compatible to her lifestyle.  However, I do believe that a person needs to be aware of and know her identity before entering a long term relationship. I think that serious dating relationships should be built on friendship and not just that one night when "we hooked up." In today's culture, many people enter short term relationships later in life to meet new people and see if he or she could be a possible spouse.  Teenagers, however, tend to enter relationships just for fun and to have a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend."  In these relationships, the hookup usually comes before the friendship.

Love Story Reflection

The love story of my parents has a large impact on my perception of relationships.  My parents did not meet on a blind date, they were not childhood best friends, or high school sweethearts.  My parents found love when they weren't expecting it.  My parents' love story is one of true love of devotion.  Like every couple, my parents have their fights, but they always seem to come out of those fights stronger than before.  My parents have shown me that love is not perfect, but it is most definitely worth it.

My parents' love story is real.  That's why I think it is better than every love story I see on tv.  My parents did not fall in love after the first date, like the characters in Endless Love.  My parents built their relationship on a foundation of trust and friendship and care.  My parents also didn't marry each other just for the sake of getting married like Kim Kardashian or the contestants on The Bachelor.  The song that I chose to describe my parents' love story is "More Today Than Yesterday" by Pat Upton.  My favorite line, "I love you more today than yesterday, but only half as much as tomorrow."  This song talks about a love that grows stronger everyday, and I believe that parents' love is similar to that.  The only a couple can stay in a happy marriage for 26 years like my parents is if they keep finding a new joy in falling back in love with their spouse everyday.

Some Say Love...

When it comes to the qualities of love that I want to have in my future relationships, I am very traditional.  I think that both people in a committed relationship need to establish a mutual sense of trust, loyalty, honesty, attraction, and friendship.  On a serious level, I think that the two people need to have similar views on approaching their life goals.  One person cannot be insanely driven and focused while the other is lazy and carefree. Additionally, they don't need to necessarily be in complete agreement with religious and political views, but they have to be willing to compromise or not let opposing views affect their relationship.  However, I also think that some form of a sense of humor is crucial to a lasting relation.  A balanced sense of humor can help people relax and realize that the current issue may not be that important.  A sense of humor can accompany a playfulness and a sense of adventure that make a relationship fun and easy.

I think that the majority of my preferred characteristics are expressed in song lyrics.  First, is "Love Somebody" by Maroon 5.  This song references that hollow feeling that someone who desperately wants to fall in love feels everyday.  It mentions a willingness to fall into a love that you can't turn back from or recover from.  Next is "Fearless" by Taylor Swift.  There is a line that says, "And I don't know why, but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress Fearless."  I think that line captures the playfulness and spontaneity that makes love enjoyable, but it also captures to level of trust that makes her blindly follow him into the rain.  "Crash My Party" by Luke Bryan describes the devotion and willingness to drop everything for that boy or girl who might need you at any moment.  One of the lines says, "You can wake me up in the dead of the night; this is a drop everything kind of thing."  Another song by Taylor Swift is "Mine."  This song describes finally finding that perfect person, and how that relationship can withstand anything, because both people refuse to let the other go no matter what kind of fight they experience.  "There is no fear, let go and just be free, I will love you unconditionally," is a lyric from "Unconditionally" by Katy Perry.  I feel like that line just sums up the love that every couple should be reaching for.  Unconditional love applies to God's love for us, a parent's love for a child, and it should apply to every couple.

After reading the assigned article, I realized that I do not completely believe in one specific soul mate for every person.  If someone decides to go on a quest looking specifically for his or her soul mate, that mate may never be found, because the person looking has no idea what his or her soul mate is like.  A perfect spouse is someone who loves you unconditionally and want you to be happy, not necessarily someone who was born as "your other half."  I do believe, however, that a couple can be meant to be.  I believe that some people meet by chance for certain reasons, some long friendships can turn into romances, and some people just click without thinking about it.  I think I believe that love happens when you least expect it.

Gender

     Gender plays a larger role in life than one would imagine.  Throughout my life, I have been taught that it is impolite for "ladies" to act inappropriately, that I should never be the sole supporter of a family if I have a husband who is perfectly fine, and that women are expected to always look put together and socially acceptable.  I have learned many of those things just through observation.  In this class, I have learned some of the harsh realities that include the fact that a woman almost always earns significantly less money than a man in the workforce. However, I have also learned that my gender should not matter; I have been taught specifically by my parents and the Mount to work as hard as I can to push past the boundaries and be treated equally to any man in my profession.

     I have an older brother, so I have noticed some differences in the ways we were raised.  When we were younger, if one of us got injured, Geoffrey was told to "shake it off" or "toughen up" and my injury was usually examined and covered with a band-aid or a kiss.  As we got older, Geoffrey was always expected to "protect me" if the two of us went out together or met with friends.  Geoffrey was given more leniency in high school because he was "a guy" and apparently bad things don't happen to them as often.  Now, when I go out with friends, I experience the lectures that include, "always take a friend to the bathroom," "text me when you get there," and "be home at this time."
     Attending an all girls school like the Mount has taught me two things.  First, gender does have an impact in today's society; second, we (the Mount) are going to provide with the necessary tools and knowledge to change the statement.  The Mount has helped me understand that in addition to very intelligent and powerful men in the world, there are some very intelligent women who deserve the chance to be powerful.  Identifying myself as a woman mean that I am going to face some obstacles and prejudices in the workforce, but it also means that I have an opportunity to make a difference in today's world.  At the Mount, I have been taught to be confident.  I have been taught to set high goals for myself and never stop trying to reach them.  The Mount has impacted me in such a way that no man or any other person, for that matter, can alter.
      In my future romantic relationships, I don't want my husband to be such a traditionalist that he forces me to stay home while he goes to work and supports the family.  I want to be with a man who wants me to be my own person.  I also want him to want to protect me or to bring home flowers or to let me stay at home while our kids our little, but I need him to let me pursue my dreams if I have that opportunity.  If I end up having a higher salary than him, he needs to accept that.  I base these ideals mostly off of my parents.  My mom was a teacher and principle for around thirty years and my dad has always been a CEO.  My mom stopped working when I was in third grade to spend more time with my brother and me.  However, my dad never tells my mom she can't do something.  He just wants her be happy, whether that consists of doing volunteer work for the Mount or getting another teaching job after I graduate from high school.  To me, my parents are an ideal couple.  They don't have traditionalist views, they don't try to one up each other, they just try to make each other happy.

Miss Representation

     After watching MissRepresentation and reading the article about girls being objectified and sexualized at young ages, I have learned about some alarming facts and statistics.  This lesson has given me an opportunity to truly think about the immense effect that today's culture has on how girls view themselves and each other in addition to how boys view them.  65% of girls and women in America have an eating disorder.  The number of cosmetic surgeries performed on girls 18 or younger has tripled from 1997 to 2007.  These two statistics alone are enough to prove that women in American care about they appearance way to much.  The common question is "Why?"
     Girls of all ages constantly feel pressure to look perfect and that image of perfection includes designer clothes, a skinny body, and a flawless face.  As girls strive to create this unreachable image, they develop eating disorders, wear skimpier clothing, and attract the wrong kind of attention from boys.  I agree with the article that parents of this generation need to stop trying to be friends with their kids and start actually parenting them.  Also, when girls hold themselves to that standard, boys start to hold us that standard as well.  During recent political elections or events, candidates like Hilary Clinton and Sarah Palin received more attention for what they were wearing or how old they looked instead of the content of their speeches.  MissRepresentation showed a clip of someone asking if Condoleezza Rice would be tough enough to be Commander in Chief in she were to ever be President.  No one has ever questioned if previous candidates were tough enough, because they were men.  In the workforce, men are seen as the stereotypical CEO while women are viewed as a stereotypical secretary or assistant.  Since it was formed, America has been a country ruled and dominated by men.  Now, it is time for men to step aside and allow talented women to step up and take the lead.
     As a Mountie, I have been lucky enough to receive an education that encourages me to be an intelligent and strong young woman.  At the Mount, I have been taught to stand up for what is right and to always let my voice be heard.  I know that the Mount has instilled in me a confidence that will aid me as I go through college and enter the workforce.  Because of the Mount, I know that there is not one good reason for anyone to treat me differently from any man.

My Mission Statement

My mission, as Catholic woman, is to be faithful to God and apply his teachings to my everyday life.  I must strive to be a good person, to do what is right, and to wisely use and discover the many gifts God has given me.  I will use these gifts to help women be seen as equals to men and to help the less fortunate experience the opportunities that I have been given.  I will set high goals for myself and use my gift of determination to achieve them and then set higher ones.  I will grow up to be successful in the vocation about which I am passionate. I have been taught to find the positive in every situation, and I will teach others to do the same. I will spread happiness, laughter, and light to every person I meet. I will work hard, I will never give up, and I will constantly reach for my potential. 

My Identity

A person's identity is shaped by the experiences that she encounters everyday.  My identity is affected everyday.  However there are three specific factors that have had a profound impact on the person I am today: my family, books, and Mount Crew.

My family is small and large at the same time.  My immediate family consists of my mom, dad, and older brother, Geoffrey.  However, my extended family is composed of 27 cousins and 24 aunts and uncles.  Coming from large families, my parents were not very wealthy and had to work extremely hard to get where they are today.  My mom worked as a teacher for 25 years and a principal for 6 years; meanwhile, my dad worked his way to being a successful businessman after starting his own company from scratch.  My parents have taught me to never give up no matter what people tell me, as well as to be a leader in life and never a follower.  Geoffrey is one of my best friends, my partner in crime, my mentor for life, and someone who I can always go to for support or advice.  He teaches me to have fun with life and not care about other people's opinions.

From a young age, books have always been an integral part of life.  My mom was always very adamant that my brother and I read for an hour every night when we were younger.  From the Chronicles of Narnia to the Book Thief to Pride and Prejudice, I have learned something new about myself or life in general.  C.S. Lewis showed me the power of creativity, how far a mind can stretch, and the many places a book can me.  Marcus Zusac taught me the power of words and the impact they can have when strung together in a novel.  Jane Austen asserted the power of women and the importance of speaking your beliefs and not what someone else tells you to believe.  The many books I have read throughout my life are the reasons that I want to be a writer.  I want to create something so powerful that it teaches others a lesson, takes them to a new world, or shows them a person they can strive to become.

Finally, I believe that becoming a member of Mount Crew was one of the best things that could have happened to me, not only in high school, but in life.  Rowing has taught me to be willing to push my boundaries, to step out of my comfort zone, and to step up and take the lead especially if those actions will help me reach my potential.  My coaches and teammates have taught me to always believe myself and strive to be better no matter what situation I am faced with.  Mount Crew has shown me what a true team looks like.  Every girl is dedicated to working hard and doing whatever it takes to make our team the fastest. Many rowers on Mount Crew have become my sisters who will always be there for me on and off the water.